"I love you" "I know"

Seriously guys, how baller is Han Solo?

So at this point in my life, I have never been in love.  Until recently, I thought myself to be unable to be in love.  I have loved, but never anything more than a close friend kind of way.  It sucks for the people I spent 2 years saying I loved, but ah well.

The truth is that I almost entered into an engagement with the logic of "I love him well enough and he's very in love with me."  I realized that this was very stupid and I needed to either find the person I could fall in love with or be single and have meaningless sex until I'm no longer desirable.  Either option beats marrying someone that I love "well enough" and resenting the entire relationship until it crumbles.

But yes.  I do believe that I may very well fall in love one day.  That is, if I find the right person and the circumstances are right.  I don't know really. That's probably why I'm writing this all down.  Maybe being able to see it will help make sense of it all. I am so disconnected from my emotions that I've been accused of being soulless and/or a robot.

I could keep going, but I really do want to keep this organized by topic, so I'll stop for now and figure out exactly where to go from here.