Seriously guys, how baller is Han Solo?
So at this point in my life, I have never been in love. Until recently, I thought myself to be unable to be in love. I have loved, but never anything more than a close friend kind of way. It sucks for the people I spent 2 years saying I loved, but ah well.
The truth is that I almost entered into an engagement with the logic of "I love him well enough and he's very in love with me." I realized that this was very stupid and I needed to either find the person I could fall in love with or be single and have meaningless sex until I'm no longer desirable. Either option beats marrying someone that I love "well enough" and resenting the entire relationship until it crumbles.
But yes. I do believe that I may very well fall in love one day. That is, if I find the right person and the circumstances are right. I don't know really. That's probably why I'm writing this all down. Maybe being able to see it will help make sense of it all. I am so disconnected from my emotions that I've been accused of being soulless and/or a robot.
I could keep going, but I really do want to keep this organized by topic, so I'll stop for now and figure out exactly where to go from here.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
About Me
Here's what there is to know. I am a 26 year old female. I have a science degree that I'm not using while I work part time in a bakery.
I have been in 2 relationships in my life, both of them lasting just over 2 years. Both of them with people who loved me and who I cared for, but no more than I care for my friends. The only difference was that I had sex with those people and rarely have sex with friends.
Hmm...what else?
I model for funsies (mostly pinup) and do the occasional burlesque show. I'm in the Tri-state area and am forced to live at home due to lack of income. I have considered moonlighting at a strip club to fix this, but I'll see if I can hold off on that. Ideally my catering business magically takes off and I make jillions.
But that's enough of that. Let's get to the point of this which is what most people would describe as a love life.
I have been in 2 relationships in my life, both of them lasting just over 2 years. Both of them with people who loved me and who I cared for, but no more than I care for my friends. The only difference was that I had sex with those people and rarely have sex with friends.
Hmm...what else?
I model for funsies (mostly pinup) and do the occasional burlesque show. I'm in the Tri-state area and am forced to live at home due to lack of income. I have considered moonlighting at a strip club to fix this, but I'll see if I can hold off on that. Ideally my catering business magically takes off and I make jillions.
But that's enough of that. Let's get to the point of this which is what most people would describe as a love life.
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